CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews last night’s TV: If this is extraordinary courage, half the country deserves a medal

Running Wild With Bear Grylls: The Challenge 

Rating:

Alone 

Rating:

Talking to yourself used to be the first sign of madness. Now it just means you’re filming a reality television show.

Benedict Cumberbatch was trying to pretend he wasn’t surrounded by safety consultants but was on his own, preparing to winch himself down a Scottish cliff face, on Running Wild With Bear Grylls: The Challenge (National Geographic).

‘I want to learn more about resilience,’ Ben burbled, ‘to be able to impart that to those I know and love as well. That, I think, is what Bear’s all about.’ Later, he corrected himself: ‘Extraordinary courage under pressure to survive, that’s what Bear’s all about.’

The actor kept breaking off from the struggle to survive, to tell us how emotional this journey was, as he zigzagged along the North Sea coastline in freezing rain. Cold, wet, scrambling about on a rocky beach — if this is extraordinary courage, then half the country deserves a medal, because it looked no different to the seaside holiday so many families have endured during this miserable summer.

In fact, Ben and Bear had it easier. They didn’t spend three hours in a traffic jam on the M5. Instead, they rode to their first clifftop by hanging onto the outside of a helicopter. This confirmed my suspicions about Bear: what he’s really ‘all about’ is striking a macho pose at every opportunity. 

Benedict Cumberbatch was trying to pretend he wasn’t surrounded by safety consultants but was on his own

After more cliff descents and more floundering at the water’s edge, the two men paddled a kayak out of a cove, to be picked up by the Royal Marines in a fast patrol craft

Ben made much of the family legends about his grandfather Henry, a submarine commander during World War II. This led to an impressive climax for what, until then, had been a dull and repetitive hour.

After more cliff descents and more floundering at the water’s edge, the two men paddled a kayak out of a cove, to be picked up by the Royal Marines in a fast patrol craft. They then sighted a nuclear submarine and were welcomed aboard, which must have taken quite some organising — the location of those subs is generally a national secret.

But the cameras were barely permitted to do more than glance at the grey skin of the immense boat before it slid below the surface. We cut to Ben, now ashore and still talking to himself. He didn’t say anything about his experience on the submarine, which simply added to the impression that this was all a rather pointless adventure.

For the eight remaining contestants fighting against starvation in the Canadian wilderness on Alone (Ch4), the adventure isn’t pointless — there’s a £100,000 prize for whoever lasts longest.

But there’s even more stilted conversation to camera, because the format is spelled out in the show’s title: all of them are on their tod. This might work well in a novel, where we can read the characters’ thoughts, but it makes awkward and frustrating television.

Woodland manager Alan, 48, even took the time to perform a scene from Mel Gibson’s Braveheart for our benefit

The producers must have drilled the candidates on the necessity of nattering constantly, because they do supply a ceaseless commentary.

When a bear is prowling around the camp at night, or a fishing expedition nets the first food in days, the apprentice pioneers never forget to grab a GoPro and tell us what’s happening. Woodland manager Alan, 48, even took the time to perform a scene from Mel Gibson’s Braveheart for our benefit.

They also tearfully recite the details of past ordeals. One suffered years of panic attacks, another was left unable to walk after a bike crash.

But with all of them affected by the relentless solitude, these solo chats are looking increasingly odd and uncomfortable.

The show might work better if the survivors were paired off, getting to know each other with long campfire heart-to-hearts, while viewers eavesdrop. But that’s too much like real life to make good reality TV.